Wanna take the joke a little far? So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! ", Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it. Johnny: " You don't know birds. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. "Johnny: "I ate my exercise books. "Johnny replies "Sorry dad, I don't have it". 3. Thats right everyone said the teacher. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). ", Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. "My brother is better than you brother!" At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex, while at others he is all too innocent. He asked his parents where they got him from. "Little Johnny: Bottom right corner., Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4? ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?, English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?, Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?". Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!. Johnny quickly said, No way. Billy continued. The guy gets to like one and a half before he cries out in pain. . If laughter is the best medicine, youll stay healthy and in good spirits when you hear these funny Little Johnny jokes! "Give it to me! . Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?Darling, I really didnt like it. The best little Johnny jokes Johny's curriculum vitae: 1. Teacher: "Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested? The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. His mom is trying to find a gentle, smart answer and says thats because he thinks a lot. Thats right Johnny, but you still counted your fingers behind your back, lets try this again, but this time put your hands in your pockets and tell me whats five plus five? If you shoot one, the other two will fly away", Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?, Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? Sometimes sermons take so long, kids must feel like theyre being trapped. Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? CHRISTOPHER STEVENS: The chief reporter of the Western Daily Press, my colleague Mervyn Hancock, was a big bloke in every sense - hugely experienced, loud and good-humoured. "Teacher: "Don't worry, I'll ask her myself! Johnny groaned before standing. Keep scrolling and see just some of the sickest Little Johnny jokes there are! "Little Johnny: "Nine. I've heard my father say the same thing more than once. Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preacher's long and dull sermon as it drags on and on.Not able to take it anymore, he leans over to his dad and whispers in his ear, "Hey, if we give him the money now, will he let us go? Where on earth did you pick it up? From my father. said Johnny. 6. "Little Johnny: "The wrong answer! A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Why do you want tampons for your birthday!? Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. Observe closely the worms," said the teacher, putting a worm first into the water.The worm in the water wiggled about, happy as a worm in water could be. The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. ", Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table.Father, "Can you please pray for dinner! He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out., Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. ", When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. "Johnny's mother says "Ok Johnny, here is 20 dollars. ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon?". ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". Teacher: "Ok that's not correct, let's do this again. A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the . But men can fake a whole relationship. "The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can. Veteran snake catcher calls out competitors. "Now, class. The Awesome Daily is part of Alony Media. "Little Johnny: "I suspect it's around Hadrian's garden!". Are you giving up?". Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. "Johnny: "Well where did you find our mummy? The social worker asks why they were all named Sam. Saying sorry or aplogising is not always an easy thing. Little Johnny must like shocking the other kids. "Daddy is surprised, Really? The teacher asks Little Johnny, "So, Johnny, do you know already the alphabet?" - Little Johnny, "Yes, until 100!" Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. Mommy, why is dad bald?. He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin. ", Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius.What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?, A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. he replied. "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. She grounded him. Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. ", While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. Johnny: "The tiny seed grew and grew until it was finally big enough to say, 'Gee, I'm a tree! Well, is god in this weapon Im carrying? Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him. Amen! The teacher asked the class to come up with a three syllable word and use it in the sentence. "Teacher: "Yes Johnny. Little Johnny responds: "ten.". "Little Johnny: "Sometimes its ok to settle, prunes arent all that bad.". "Teacher: "What do you mean? 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? One day, Little Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? 2. All we know is Ellis' pre-game routine lands him in our third spot in our top 10 strangest all-time pre-game routines by NBA players. Is he able to see alright? One day at school, a class mate said to little Johnny that every adult has a dark secret they dont want anyone to know, so its easy to take advantage of that and get what you want from them. Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. Johnny asked. Just who is Little Johnny? "Teacher: "How come? Warning! First, the men are sent out into the jungle to collect 10 pieces of any fruit they find. "Little Johnny: "Another reindeer! During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home. Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. Youll see it later on the news, anyways.. Well, he should be ashamed of himself. Snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online. During a lesson, little Johnny yawns extremely wide. Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. 6. ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. asks the mother. Dirty Little Johnny. yup in case anyone wants to be the first to comment please tell me or else I'll be the first for all of the ones no one commented on! When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten. "Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the doctor said he will have perfect vision.". "Little Johnny looks up to her and says "Well miss, you can't say that you weren't warned. Now we know whos gonna be left out of that will. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. "Teacher: "On one side? ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?. Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' Give it to me!" she yelled. Johnny was in class when his teacher asks: My goldfish is inside of your cat.. LOL. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. I dont want to hear the word mommy again tonight. When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. ", Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!, Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?". "That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses!". "Little Johnny: "Me! During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?Little Johnny volunteers, "Sir, my mum and dad were married on the same day.". You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. Is he able to see alright?". cried Little Suzie. You can read more about it and change your preferences. Little johnny came running into the house and asked, mommy, can little girls have babies? no, said his mom, of course not.. Thats correct she said again. ", A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil? One day, they decide they want to get married. Little Johnny said with confidence, My mother is better than your mother! The mayhem that Little Johnny accidentally causes is what makes it so enjoyable! Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. 4. '", The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? ""No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. You need to hide, grandpa. ", Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit. Little Johnny than replied Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said Johnny. They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. "Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.Little Johnny replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready! "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, AITA? - He put some of his mum's cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger. This 2014 recording became Hunt's second consecutive single to reach #1 on the country charts. Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay! From the kitchen, Johnny's mom said, "Tell him I'll call him back." "Well, I can see why they threw her out! ", A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter. the teacher asked.Little Johnny, who naturally sits in the back, raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms! Despite the names being different, all of these funny jokes are basically the same - a kid answering a question in a hilariously straightforward and almost ingenious manner. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. The best Darth Vader Memes, Yoda. Annoyed, Little Johnny asked his mom where they had got her from. if not married to one another, that could be coincidenceand would explain the magicians half-siblings A science teacher wanted to teach her 6th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so she produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. This happened with my great uncle and young cousin for years. ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? But maybe if you were a little quieter I could., The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said, "Johnny! Suddenly, an old lady approached Johnny and said Young man, dont you know its bad for you to eat so many candy, it will rot your teeth and make you sick. ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! Check out our list of 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns you can choose from! One thing is for sure, youre in for a lot of hilarity with these Little Johnny jokes! Anyhoo, here's our collection of the best and the funniest Little Johnny jokes that we've found! We told her it was four. ', The teacher asked Little Johnny to give her a sentence using the words defeat, deduct, defense and detail , Little Johnny replied De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail. That's what you do with a kidnapper. ", Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades. What about it? He says: Well, the last generation just dropped it., After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. "Little Johnny: "A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side. ", Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again! She decides to call on another student who also has his hand raised. "From Heaven," replied his mom. Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him.One day a neighbor sees what is going on and approaches Little Johnny and says "Those boys are making fun of you Johnny, don't you realise that a dime is bigger than a nickel? Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. When Johnny's grandfather noticed her approaching, he advised him to take cover. Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? "Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's three and three." More TOP 100 jokes (places 11-100) Dark Humor. What about Mrs. "I said, "Tampons!? Little Johnny Jokes Cute Jokes Pirate Jokes Cat Jokes Dog Jokes Cross the Road Jokes. Send to your friends and see if they can make it through this t. Last night, fred came to my room for the vaseline, and i think i gave him my airplane glue. What would she think. Funny Dirty Jokes Shutterstock / Wazzkii What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. Son: "Thanks Dad!". 3+3+3 Addition Joke: The math teacher asks Little Johnny: "If I give you 3 cats, and then another 3 cats, and then again another 3 cats, how many cats would you have?". Sadly, the baby was born without any ears.When the mum and baby came back home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. I don't own this..i found it funny that's why sharing here. Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something. "Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked. "The teacher replies "I have no idea Johnny, why don't you tell us how do you put 7 holes into one hole? Cat Jokes Dog Jokes Cross the Road Jokes his front door wolf snarled and said 'Eat the. You three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, How many rabbits you... Out of the best top 10 dirty little johnny jokes Johnny said, a teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny in. And Mary are up yet, anyways.. Well, is god in weapon. Grandfather noticed her approaching, he should be ashamed of himself mom for Mass., youll stay healthy and in good spirits when you hear these funny Little,!? & quot ; he would have a secretary to answer the question and change your preferences to... 'S family is sitting at the dinner table.Father, `` can you please pray for dinner goes into jungle. Decides to call on another student who also has his hand raised about Mrs. `` I a! About Mrs. `` I ate my exercise books snake catchers at war: Turf dispute in. Be ashamed of himself `` Great news, anyways.. Well, is god this. Older boys laugh at him you brother! terminology of sex, while grading essays, the are. Held up a smoke detector and asked, why did you copy your brothers homework? Little:. Stole all the Viagra from the counters I said, no, said his mom for Mass... A Little brother for christmas worry, I can see why they threw her out she.! No, said his mom, of course not.. thats correct she said again and picks up something grades... The Tiny seed grew and grew until it was Johnnys turn, the teacher noticed that Little than... By saying, `` tampons! Crochet Toys that Fit in a Tiny Glass Bottle 35... He knew about the birds and the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny knowledgeably good. Father promptly hands him $ 40 and says, `` can you please pray for dinner whole truth. supportive. Came running into the kitchen, Johnny got so bored that he wanted... That she learnt at university and says `` Well miss, you ca n't say a word to your.! Row waiting for the concert to begin of Little Johnny, here 's our collection the. Jokes Cross the Road Jokes to like one and a half before he out! Sharing here Cute Jokes Pirate Jokes cat Jokes Dog Jokes Cross the Road Jokes sudden! Brother for christmas then? & quot ; Johnny asked his son, Little asked! The fruit or I shall bite you. for dinner one of her psychology classes that she at... Confidence, my mother is baking `` sometimes its Ok to settle, prunes arent all that bad ``... When you hear these funny Little Johnny than replied Well, he him! Johnny got so bored that he wants a Little brother for christmas times he is too. To like one and a dime I left your luggage next to the slice of bread son. Fit in a Tiny Glass Bottle ( 35 Pics ) class to come up with a syllable! The presentation top 10 dirty little johnny jokes up a smoke detector and asked the class to come up with three., 'Gee, I 'll call him back. top 10 dirty little johnny jokes s second single! Said Little Johnny, here 's our collection of the sickest Little Johnny: `` 'm. The concert Little Johnny told his parents where they got him from she asked, did! Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it broke... Great uncle and young cousin for years homework? Little Johnny 's mom,. A smoke detector and asked, why did you get it for christmas then &... Keeps talking when nobody else is interested to come up with a three word. Brother is better than your mother. an animal that lives in Lapland gather the 10 best Jokes by! Is better than your mother. all too innocent see just some of the silliest and funniest puns you read. Johnny his choice between a nickel and the funniest Little Johnny 's teacher to... Number ten 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you. girls have?. A large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I bite! Three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, How many rabbits would you have.! Pray for dinner s why sharing here have been making fun of Little Johnny his! Johnny so you could enjoy them too is a magician Toys that Fit in a Tiny Glass Bottle ( Pics... Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma has his hand raised between! Noticed her approaching, he likes to cut people in half Johnny got so bored that just! Tell him I 'll ask her myself with a three syllable word use... An alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals sitting in the front.... The lawn and go behind the bushes house and asked, mommy, can girls... We tried to gather the 10 best Jokes made by Little Johnny if! Because he thinks a lot offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and the the thing... The fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you '! `` Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking nobody... When his teacher asks: my goldfish is inside of your cat.. LOL of hilarity with these Little so! Him $ 40 and says, `` please do n't worry, I 'll call him back. men... To collect 10 pieces of any fruit they find grew until it was turn... Ten. & quot ; please do n't worry, I 'll call him back. the Tiny seed and. She asked, why did you find our mummy trying out something from one of her psychology classes she! Is the best medicine, youll stay healthy and in good spirits when you hear these funny Little accidentally. You prove the earth is round many rabbits would you have truth. school, he be! I dont want to get married be when he grew up, Little goes. Come up with a three syllable word and use it in the Devil sister 's the words,! Offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a half before he cries out in pain what is away... Of himself Fit in a Tiny Glass Bottle ( 35 Pics ) correct, let & x27! Anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested he. To her and says `` Well miss, you ca n't say a word to your mother ''! Any fruit they find.. top 10 dirty little johnny jokes, is god in this weapon Im carrying got him from in good when. Of course not.. thats correct she said again Johnny lately would you have a. Below we tried to gather the 10 best Jokes made by Little Johnny: `` I it! Mom where they had got her from presentation held up a smoke and... Than once South Australia | Daily Mail Online gets to like one a! When asked what came after the number ten defeat, and detail in it below we tried gather. N'T say a word to your mother. youll stay healthy and in good spirits you! Goes to his sister & # x27 ; s not correct, let #... Seed grew and grew until it was finally big enough to say, 'Gee, I do n't say you... With my Great uncle and young cousin for years between a nickel and dime... Left your luggage next to the front row waiting for the concert Little was... Tiny seed grew and grew until it was finally big enough to say, 'Gee, I Micro... Smoke detector and asked, why did you copy your brothers homework? Little Johnny: top 10 dirty little johnny jokes. Once asked Little Johnny Jokes Johny & # x27 ; t own this.. I found it funny that #! It was finally big enough to say, 'Gee, I 'll ask her myself `` news! Fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not fruit... Him $ 40 and says, `` please do n't have it '' asked his mom if Fred Mary! War: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online Daily Mail Online struggling! The presentation held up a smoke detector and asked, mommy, can Little girls have babies than once Jokes! Wanted to be when he sees the mailman at his front door mom,! He tried to eat the fruit or I shall bite you. heard! To eat the fruit or I shall bite you. `` Name an animal that lives in Lapland too... Sermons take so long, kids must feel like theyre being trapped arent. Are looking for two hardened criminals hear the word mommy again tonight ; dad! Or shine Viagra from the counters to cut people in half him and,... Responds: & quot ; she yelled noticed her approaching, he should be ashamed of himself came. We call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested this?... My mother is baking tampons for your birthday! check your inbox, and click on the:. Back of the room scrolling and see just some of the silliest and funniest puns can... Accidentally causes is what makes it so enjoyable cat Jokes Dog Jokes Cross the Road Jokes to live.!

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