One would have to define perfect first. would you not prefer to be judged on who you are as a man today, or should any perceived mistakes you made in the past always be held over your head? The gossip of slandering the girls name and calling her a hoe. that will always be what it is and now you know it is most likely to be a However, you chose to explain a womans promiscuity with abuse, mental issues, and low self-esteem. Should I apply for accomodation now or later? Hallelujah! There is nothing psychologically wrong with us nor do we need help. It makes it an issue when she has slept with 50 plus guys and the male only a handful. When the male wants a woman with good morals and respects her body. Basically, many women today want to be able to act like a whore while they are younger, and still settle down with a man in a stable marriage once they get their promiscuity out of their systems. That doesnt define who you will be. Understand her past and evaluate her for the woman she is today, not who she once was. Anyone with a brain knows that a persons past is a huge reflection of themselves and that past actions can show a lot especially in regards to the human condition. If we save ourselves we have the same right to not be lied to and find someone we can be comfortable with. THIS IS LIFE. Can it work out with an ex a bit further down the line? understand where youre coming from, and just give you a chance? It's also possible she has a crazy high libido, which if you build a commited relationship, can really come in handy when you start getting older and other men are in the "dead bedroom" phase, because they wanted to marry a virgin, who happened to have a very low libido, which made it easy for them to stay a virgin. I applaud you Stephan for SOME of your opinions on this matter and for standing your ground. As long as you're both safe and clean, what's the harm? "Promiscuous" is a term that is almost always used when speaking about a woman; it is most often pejorative. Lol promiscuous men have a degenerate mentality. Sex is purely pleasing, its not emotional for me. Fuckboys should marry women who slept around and end up opening the relationship when they will inevitably reach the point where they realize one dick or one vagina is no longer enough. And yes, I enjoy educating the ignorant, such as yourself, on such topics. Because if not, there should be no issue. interact. At times, those emotions cause us to make poor decisions. Sad to say that women nowadays are sleeping around more than men do. In this day and age, very few women or men will be virgins when you marry them. Your experience may vary. someone to come along and love you for who you are? has slept with. We women are more than what is between our legs. Self respect and value for yourself, if somebody wanted that lifestyle then why should they get to have somebody who didnt have that lifestyle. The reason why I view the actual number irrelevant is due to this example: Lets say you meet a woman and she is amazing. If so, thats not love. You're a victim of western purity culture, where a woman's value is measured by how few men she'e slept with. If you don't identify with this kind of perspective then what is it about her that you value? First, ever since our common ancestors walked out of West If you two currently do not agree on those things, by all means walk away. I loved this article. On the other side of the fence, as a woman, I wouldnt want to subject my future partner to having any kind of issues with the number of men Ive slept with. If the number really didnt matter, couples could ask about it and And, yes, you should know. It helps with understanding them fully, but it should not be used to pass judgement in any way. Sorry, bro. of course aftewards they feel like trash, or are so cold that they lack feelings completely. Everyone has the right to judge and they WILL until the end of time as we know it and there is not damn thing wrong with it!!! The man is going to think that the woman might not Is she in to me or just a touchy best friend? Same as with a baby if you work out i have had a partner or two after my bad divorce and after having children and still get asked if I had children because I am right ..I personally think it depends on how the person is made idk..what do I know though .. Its not about the tightness of your vagina DNA from every partner u take stays inside of you. Isnt it women who tell men & society: You cant tell me what to do w/ my body?Especially when it comes to pregnancy & abortion?Therefore women are admitting that having a womb comes w/ having more responsibility. -Women also judge in choosing partners. Be careful about judging people because you dont know all the reasons why people do the things they do. I personally would have never dated a guy who has slept around a lot. It is so sad, they block love sometimes for all the wrong reasons. Being promiscuous is not always a conscious decision. That will not change because of Americas pseudo progressive culture. This is what society gets for sexual liberation. I sure don't. esp on the parent side of things. Actually the fact that she has been with a few guys before settling down makes me feel special to be the chosen one. 0. 8. Ugh. I understand a lot of what you have said and certain points are valid. So lets say you meet a woman and start to date her. We should strive to be righteous. I was horrified but because I did not want to be judgmental and because we were already together I stuck it out. As far as Im concerned, he is the only man I can get sexually aroused by. I completely understand where you are coming from Kabdog but I have to respectfully disagree. No, my perceptions are no more divorced from reality than yours, or those of anyone else. There is more than that going on, and even the woman who was a virgin entering marriage can find herself taking that route if she is left unfulfilled, vulnerable, and an opportunity arises. You say its not worth walking away from a woman you genuinely connect with. Sex often results in emotional attachment for a woman. Never trust someone who doesnt change within those 10 years. I think you misunderstand the article, this is not an article to promote a womans right to be promiscuous. about you. What I noticed about these two women as well as my female friends and colleagues is that women who have had a large number of sexual partners often have different values and a different outlook onrelationship behaviorthan those that have not. Everyone thinks they want to sleep with pure uncorrupted virgins or whatever, but I honestly think the only reason anyone wants to sleep with a virgin, or is opposed to sleeping with someone with more experience, all comes down to insecurity. Its just societal ideals and norms. I believe focusing on the number blinds us from the things we should really be looking at when trying to determine if this is a person we can have a successful relationship with. If she doesnt treat sex with respect then shes not going to consider it to be a big deal when she hooks up with someone else and leaves you wondering why you just wasted two years of your life with her. A girl that has been around the block is going to have a much harder time finding a man to agree to spend the rest of his life with her. Her not telling you how many men she slept with before she ever knew you is not the same. it's up to you to be good enough for them. Also women (and some men) get bored quickly these days. So again basing her value as a woman off of numbers shouldnt really mean much. I just could never judge those who choose otherwise. If u need to walk away sometimes and have a breath of fresh air. YOU HAVE THE SEXUAL POWER, YOU ALWAYS HAVE, stop trying to put men as the sexual power holders, its just dumb. I disagree with that comparison. I continued to live. Judging right away could end up getting in the way of an opportunity to know a really great person. People make mistakes and should NOT be judged however we cant be stupid and act like it doesnt matter. or how many different babys daddy she has is not important. she has slept with in the past as evidence for if she is someone to be Of course you agree. This is because men are at low risk they can walk away, and if the woman becomes pregnant she is the one who bears 9 months of pregnancy plus childbirth and the resulting minimum 5 years of childrearing. Then she knocked on a door and a guy in his underwear opened it, and she walked in and closed the door. There are women who have been with one man, and have gotten an STD. Its just not allowed. Peace. See, I can understand a man deciding not to be with that woman because their views and values dont line up. Have you heard of Google? Choices are And there you have it. if that young man shows himself to be immature and not ready then make that decision based on his words and actions, not by a predetermined perception of men his age. choosing to be selective in whom they sleep with. Hes not stating that women are divorcing because they cheat. On the surface all may look well, but when you go deeper many women will acknowledge they were never truly in love or connected with their mate. The only position here is dont let the past stop you from receiving and embracing your blessings. For instance a girl had sex with 20 men(but we dont know numbers) and they were all her boyfriends then in that case she wouldnt be a hoe. In the overwhelming majority of cases, a promiscuous sex life is indicative of other personality problems. It started to become so frustrating that men would love everything about me but judge me sexually. I am referencing a paper directly concerned with the subject, Premarital Sex, Premarital Cohabitation, and the Risk of Subsequent Marital Dissolution Among Women., If perhaps you had read my posts below from last year, where I referenced this study, you wouldnt have made the invalid assumption that I believe something is true because I say it is.. Is this a JOKE? My number is 25. I try to be very understanding and never judge anyone one because of their past. I am sorry to hear that you experienced such things, but keep moving in the right direction as you are. None of those reasons are truly about self respect and strength, or even being an alpha male. She had never been sexually active and would only have sex if it was in a relationship with a man she loved. In fact, I see more women who regret marrying young than I see women regret marrying in their 30s. If you are that Datson? When they should love e themselves. I've never been completely on the red pill stuff mostly on the more toned down r/seduction and general PUA stuff. Women are no different than men. I see what you're saying about burning the toxic feelings and I agree 100% I want to get rid of them and out of this mindset very badly and even from what I've read thus far this thread and people input have helped me to frame my thoughts a lot. She inadvertently shows why dudes dont want to settle down with women who participate in hookup culture. In the end your selling yourself short. I completely understand your position but he is where our views differ. I slept with the majority of these guys between the ages of 18-21 but now that Im in a different place I dont have sex as freely. Are you telling me that the number of sex partners she then tells you is worth walking away from this woman. Personally, I dont want to marry a woman who looks at sex like a man does, and acts the way a man does. Women have 10 lb babies & tighten right back up with the right maintenance (from experience). I just dont think using her past to override who she is today is the best approach. She's independent, classy, carries herself well, acts like a lady, has standards for who she sleeps with, doesn't disclose unnecessary information about her sex life, and she certainly doesn't let men disrespect her, because she respects herself. For instance, you are judging that other woman for judging other women. can be decreased. But it seems like you want to get over those beliefs, because you recognize there is something wrong with them. It is actually a fact that the more partners a woman has had, the more likely the marriage is to fail, source:https://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2010/09/sexual-partner-divorce-risk.html However, theres another possibility that you could simply be what she could afford to have. This statement makes no sense. Finally, above all else RESPECT HER!!! Just b/c those were accpetable practices in the past doesnt mean we as a society have to continue to adhere to them and perpetuate their message. This is a trite platitude devoid of meaning. That's why I am so thankful that I have Jesus as my perso. When we learn how to maximize on the other things you can still be a better lover than the man who may have been bigger. I am with you 100% on everything you said I am just wondering because I like your input you said everything for me! The problem here is that she does not come off like a ho AT ALLshes ambitious, intelligent, fashionable, etc etc. to ask. I think if sexuality was embraced more instead of used as a marketing tool women wouldnt be ashamed or use sex for any other means. Excessive promiscuity is linked directly to narcissism and mental instability. If you feel that this is the case, maybe consider whether it is fair for her to have you in her life. Men getting around has pretty much been accepted as it is. Hate to say it our race puts more thought into this subject than any other. I honestly dont like having to interact with my gfs past partners so in the end this article is nice but if one doesnt want to marry a female who has slept around then these words are neither here nor there in reality. Fifth So, I conclude that it IS relevant about women Guys in sports, entertainment and the military normally are cheaters. That being said , I just wanted to point out that the double standard here has disgusted me for soo long. If she got pounded by 25 guys by age 25, whats to say shes not going to get pounded by another 2 guys a year even in a relationship for the next 10 years? This. Nowadays, everyone is playing games, and everyone will lose. Well that is the same than saying that a woman who cheat should not confess of course if the husband does not find out they could live happy for ever but the problem come that it is living a lie in both cases if the husband would have know the truth about the person they are living with probably would have not chosen to live with this person and that is the weight that the cheating/laying woman have to take with her for her whole life nor to say the fear of being caught. old.) These are the things that are going to be Posted August 24, 2015. Women can love sex, yet reserve this for men for whom they have love, or with whom they are in a relationship. We dont know what that woman may have been going through or her full reasons for her choices. You, as a woman, are obviously free to care (or not) how many previous partners your man has been with. In fact, its usually the other way around (though the gap is starting to close) or its because of physical, mental, emotional abuse, neglect, ect. All in all I just dont feel we should be looking at the amount of men she has slept with in the past as evidence for if she is someone to be with. It felt right in me. Wild oats = sewn. It carries some truth to it undoubtedly. Thats it! It is what it is, but the most important part is your STD FREE!!!!! may get a good friend out of getting to know that person. And while I was confident she would never cheat on me, it still bothered me that she let that many men use her that way before me. hint 4: take some time and really dissect the roots of these feelings and separate them from the trigger events. Judging someone for their actions in their past have no bearing on the type of person they or now. number is half your age. Even though men have the choice too without fame a lot of money a social status its a losing battle. WOMEN THAT ARE CONSTANTLY ON THE HOE STROLL MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR WOMEN LIKE ME WHO ARE NOTWOMEN WHO CARRY THEMSELVES WITH DECENCY AND RESPECT. But you know what, screw it. Wesley Pipes, calls out Kobe' lol you really took it there. Touch. We have to be mature enough to accept people for who they are today in the same way in which we would want others to accept us. Either your a virgin and done sucked so many dicks or your not a virgin and hjad sex with alot of people. Redirect your thoughts gently when they get off track, as if you were correcting a puppy. A woman who has slept with 100 meninevitablyhas certain qualities of character, and inevitably has certain boundary issues, and inevitably has lower standards when it comes to who she allows access to her body. I am hopefull So this woman never lied about anything. Most people have past sexual histories, but hiding them from someone that you are supposed to love and trust is setting oneself up for failure in the future. Ask any man if he wants to marry a woman who Again, have you heard of Google? With a topic as sensitive as this misunderstanding will happen and I appreciate you taking the time to explain yourself. If she likes you, trust her in that too. I will talk about what I feel is best, when it comes to sex and being promiscuous versus waiting. life. Thats deepmakes me feel foolish for rejecting some females because of my insecurity about their sexual past. You dont think there are alpha women out there? I dont think the number should matter, personally. So a man can use that as a measuring stick all he wants, but the reality is he may forever be getting false data. the point is about understanding that who someone once was isnt always who they are now. 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